Hayt is something that absolutely anyone can face today. For him, you do not need to have huge popularity or your own business, it is enough to start a personal page and leave it open to everyone. Aif.ru talked to psychodramatherapist Olga Malininato figure out who are all these people who write nasty things in the comments, sometimes arranging bullying on the Web, and how to protect yourself from an unexpected misfortune.
Today we live in two parallel realities that do not intersect with each other: the Internet and the physical world. In ordinary life, we meet with a living person, and not with his illusory copy. We react with sensations in the body, smell each other, read the facial expressions of a person, see his emotions. All this restrains internal impulses, especially negative ones, even if initially we planned to express everything that we thought. There is no direct physical contact in the virtual space. There are incorporeal avatars, because of which the identity of a person is lost and a feeling of invisibility, inaccessibility and some security or even permissiveness appears. When a person seems to be absent, it is much easier to insult, scold or humiliate him.
If we consider any correspondence from the point of view of freedom of expression, whether it is a letter, a message in a messenger or a comment under someone’s post, then you can see that it is much easier to write about something, ask, make a claim, or resolve some issue. At the same time, communication through text messages is a good breeding ground for conflict based on misunderstandings, conjectures and interpretations. For example, for one, the absence of emoticons in the text is a sign that the interlocutor on the other side of the screen is unhappy and needs to be appeased urgently, while for another, it is a reason to be offended that he was underestimated.
Haters at the call of the soul
There are haters at the call of the soul. They write because they like to leave negative comments, watching the reaction of other people or the one at whom the hate is directed. They get a kind of pleasure from it. As a rule, these people have the so-called “dark personality traits”, they are also called the “dark tetrad”. They are characteristic of both adolescents and adults: everyday sadism, antisocial behavior, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. They have so much anger and discontent inside that they are included in any skirmish and are ready to dog from dawn to dusk. There are those who persecute a specific person, on whom they hang their projections, and ideological people who write on a specific topic at every opportunity.
If we turn to the past, then haters or persecutors existed before. They did not write, but caused real physical harm, like Chapman, who killed John Lennon, or the maniac who pursued Jodie Foster. If earlier we knew about single, but high-profile stories, today the impersonality of the Internet space is a good platform for an ordinary person who could not control his emotions and got involved in a virtual skirmish. In fact, at least once in our lives, we all caught ourselves writing a negative comment or proving something to someone with foam at the mouth on the Web, engaging in malicious correspondence. Unfortunately, this way of communicating can be addictive and addictive for a person who likes to drain their tension safely and effortlessly. So a person leaves the real problem and attempts to solve it, starting to fight with windmills in the virtual world.
Which wolf you feed, that one grows
People are so arranged that they quickly begin to perceive the good as a matter of course, an event that does not need gratitude. The order arrived on time, safe and sound from the store – as it should be. They did their job. Few people take the time to go online and write thanks. If they brought the wrong thing or the wrong time, then irritation and discontent give so much energy that a person writes everything he thinks about this, sometimes not controlling the verbal flow.
Despite the fact that this situation can be one in a thousand, it is this review that will be remembered by many and it will be the one they will look for to make sure that something is wrong with the company or product. In this way, many people drain their energy and time, winding up the negative thousands of times. In order to stop doing this, you need to have some level of awareness, asking yourself questions: “Why am I doing this? Why does this topic cause me so much anxiety? Why do I focus on negative comments? If a person learns to understand this, then he will be able to more consciously relate to what is happening on the Internet and his desire to scold someone on the Web.
Hate as marketing
Like it or not, but in order to draw attention to yourself or your product, you need reviews. Everyone who makes money from the Internet is hunting for good reviews and customer loyalty. But competitors are on the alert and can pay money to professional haters for negative reviews of products or services of those who interfere with them in the market. Therefore, stinging comments should be treated with caution and not trusted unconditionally.
Absolutely any, even a negative comment under the post increases the rating in the search engine, which gives it to Web users as interesting information. Emotions, attention and, as a result, various kinds of comments are what the struggle is for on the Web, and what draws the average person.
How to respond to hate?
It is important to understand that any manifested person or company can cause different emotions and experiences – both positive and negative. On the one hand, it is fame and fame, on the other hand, it is discontent, envy and anger. The larger the audience, the lower the chance of avoiding a hate. In order not to drown in someone else’s negativity or not to turn into an evil hater yourself, you need to learn to separate constructive criticism from hate. Objective censure helps to improve the quality of the services provided, and the hate is not really worth any attention, because it’s just a stream of dirt and insults that someone leaks. Attempts to establish contact and calm the hater are absolutely pointless and ineffective. They have only a violent desire to express their hatred, nothing more.